Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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