So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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