we're blogging at a bar
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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