Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
