chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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