I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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