i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
