By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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