it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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