You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
