What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize