how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
