There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
