yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
