We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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