Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
