Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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