You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
