Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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