I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
