When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize