so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
