cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize