Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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