Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
