Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
