if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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