At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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