you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
