the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
