like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
