mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
