Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
