She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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