to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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