when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
