Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
