It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
