So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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