i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
