His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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