i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
