i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
