i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
