He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
