i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
