I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize