You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
