plz talk dirty to me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
50% drunk capacity currently
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
