FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
