Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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