that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
