Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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