i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
