Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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