no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
