worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
