yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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