This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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