Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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