the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
