We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
