id be glad to
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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