i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
